Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Carrie Fisher

Obi-Wan: "I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened."

How I feel today. I am going to break suit a little to say goodbye to someone I really love.

I couldn't tell you exactly when it was, but at a very early age, most definitely still in the single digits of age, I started watching the Star Wars movies and I watch them so much that I wore through the VHSs we had and at one point my mom had to re-buy my dad the trilogy box that for Christmas.

I absolutely love Star Wars and I remember I wanted to have lightsaber battles with my friends when I was a kid and upset that not all of my friends knew what Star Wars was so they wouldn't play lightsabers or stormtroopers with me. I remember the one or two people who knew of the characters and I would get into a bitter arguments over who was allowed to princess Leia, but not because I wanted to be the girl, because Princess Leia was a bad-ass and I wanted to be the bad-ass.

When I was still very young I knew there was something different about Princess Leia. She was very smart, she was a leader, she was brave, a warrior, she was very strong and capable, and as I got older I appreciated her sass, I love that she didn't need a man to tell her what to do, and in fact she told "The man" what to do, but Leia was able to be vulnerable at the same time. She was a woman.

Princess Leia was my first female role model growing up. I absolutely loved her, she was there long before Morticia Adams came into play who is my second female role model. I would say she was very much responsible for shaping me into the strong willed, sassy, independent woman that I am because she has been there since the very beginning for me.

Princess Leia would not be who she was if played by anyone other than Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher was a funny and strong woman. Not only a great actress, but an activist too. Today I lost a hero and I knew I would be sad but I find myself much sadder than expected. Now that I'm off work I can process what I've been feeling all day and I'm overwhelmed emotion and choking back tears as I write. 

Carrie fisher you were a huge inspiration to me and I loved you so much. The world will not be the same without you, even when you faded away for a while you were always there, and now the thought that you are not there anymore it's heartbreaking. 

My General, My Princess has fallen. Screw you 2016.

Remembering you in my favorite roles, The Burbs, Jay and Silent bob, and of course Star Wars.